Where Do We Go From Here?
And how do we get there?
We are losing our connection to one another.
Earlier this week, loneliness was officially declared a health emergency in California's San Mateo County. The county's Board of Supervisors has pledged “to explore measures that promote social connection in the community.”
Our social fabric is unraveling.
What’s more, our normal, daily lives are under assault. Grocery stores, schools and colleges, churches and synagogues, concerts — they no longer feel completely safe.
Wednesday’s parade celebrating a Super Bowl victory ended abruptly when violence broke out under the fall of confetti. Was anyone surprised? For a moment, perhaps, but then quickly the realization that this has become a new normal sunk in.
It ought not be this way. We have put off a solution for far too long and the consequences have arrived.
All kinds of abhorrent behaviors are becoming more prominent, even routine, in our daily lives.
I made the mistake of reading an online comment section the other day and was saddened by the horrific bullying. Commentary has become senseless and mean. People write things that are meant to sting. Have you seen the segments on late-night talk shows where celebrities read aloud things strangers have written about them on social media? It has become a game of hurting others for sport.
A new trend in crime is a smash-and-grab style of just taking things and walking out of a store without paying. A friend told me that thieves are wearing Fed-Ex or Amazon-branded clothing so they are less suspicious when pirating packages from porches.
Unruly airline passengers are grounding flights, disrupting other people’s lives without a second thought, causing them to miss important life events like weddings and funerals.
The sense of self-centered entitlement is prominent. It manifests in big and small ways and it is pervasive. Recently I was placing an order at a quite nice restaurant when a diner got up from his table and approached ours because he wanted attention. There wasn’t an emergency. He just wanted another drink and didn’t mind encroaching on our evening to get it—now. A small thing, yes, but an indicator of how much things have shifted. We are living in a me-first society.
Alarmingly, for some, violence is becoming a knee-jerk response when things don’t go the way they want, or if they merely disagree, and that leads to serious, and sometimes fatal, consequences. It has also led to a nefarious seeping in of that sense of entitlement and petulance into our very culture. It’s not pretty, at all.
How do we keep noticing, encouraging, and supporting the good in the world when things have gone awry?
What can we do that will make a difference?
First, it’s important to be aware of what is happening and to avoid becoming accustomed to it. Can you sense a general shift for the worse in how people treat one another? Stay aware of that and avoid going along with the shift. Overcorrect for it. Look for the good, amplify it, and try to add to it. Lots of small actions are helpful. When someone asks for help, do what you can. Support a meaningful GoFundMe. Hold doors. Listen. Lend a hand. Compliment someone. Try to let the unimportant things go. Center stories of heroes. Take care of yourself so you are equipped to manage difficulty. Invite someone to go on a walk.
One of the members of the Inner Space Studio community, Sabine, sent in this week’s photo. She also sent a note. It said in part, “I enjoy creating little cairns when I’m by the water and dedicating them to someone I love or reflecting over them.” This thoughtfulness is a perfect example of helping. It adds to the momentum in correcting for the shift. When we spend time reflecting on others and send them our good thoughts, we are much less likely to harm them, or anyone for that matter.
Is this really going to make a difference, you ask? Let’s try it and see. It can’t hurt. Our behavior affects other people. When things are rough, how you respond matters.
Be a role model for the behavior you want to see.
Of course, it is also vital to be more active in promoting change at the polls. If you don’t like what’s happening, volunteer. Vote! Help however you can.
This week’s Compassion and Loving Kindness meditation is the perfect pairing to engage with this shift for the better. You will find it below.
Please, keep sharing your photos and stories with me. And share this post with your friends.
Compassion and Loving Kindness Meditation
Thanks for being here. Have a great day!