We are living in challenging times. You know it. I know it.
There is a lot to be upset about. One pervasive problem that has arisen due to the rampant discord between us is that the civility that was once the norm in our society has gone out the window.
Growing up, there were a lot of words I wasn’t allowed to say. A lot of words that are normal to most people were swear words in my household. “Darn it,” for example was really pushing the envelope and would get you sent to your room. These days, while I am much looser with my language, I still hear words that are spoken out of frustration or that are especially unkind or uncivil with an ear that is habituated to restraint.
So, this week, when I heard an elected Representative from the House tell a reporter asking a good and fair question to, “Shut up!,” it really got to me.
Peers of this elected official laughed, booed, and made other inappropriate exclamations. Elected officials, people we ought to look up to, were on stage, demeaning and shouting at a reporter from ABC News, who was doing her job.
How can we reverse this? Because we desperately need to. Belittling others with whom we disagree is never cute, funny, or productive. We would not let our children behave this way. Why do we accept it from elected officials?
You can tell how I feel on the matter so I will get to this week’s meditation which is a suggestion on how to be in the face of this dissention. This idea is inspired by the work of Roshi Joan Halifax, a Zen priest, anthropologist, and author. In 2008, Roshi Joan wrote a book about nurturing the ability to uphold yourself in the face of difficulty (equanimity), while simultaneously holding a sense of compassion to stay open to things just as they are. She presents the metaphor of equanimity as a strong back and compassion as a soft front. You can stick with your beliefs (strong back) and have compassion for others (soft front).
More than ever, it is essential to cultivate these skills so that we can call upon them on difficult days.
Let’s take a closer look at the relationship between equanimity and compassion, and practice building a strong back, and allowing ourselves to have a soft front. Get started with the meditation I recorded for you below. Please, for all of us, give it a listen.